Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Our first "official" date. . .

The next day, Sunday, we went on our "official" first date...you know, the kind where the guy comes to your house and picks you up? yea, that kind. Oh! And he was such a gentleman...he opened my car door! I love that. One thing I recognized right away about Gary is his very gentle spirit. He seemed so calm, most of the time, and his presence brought a calmness to my spirit. That has proven to be a VERY good thing since I'm not calm by nature and even off the wall, at times. Gary's gentleness "grounds" me. God knew I needed that.

We went to the $1.50 movie at Westgate Mall and saw Million Dollar Baby. Great movie, by the way. But more important than that, we held hands at the movie for the first time! Oh my, was that delightful. This relationship was moving in a positive direction at a healthy rate of speed, at least for me. Usually, it was, meet the guy, kiss him that night and THEN decide if you wanted to see him again. There wasn't much "getting to know" someone back in my past days. But Gary was different to me and for me. I was also a different person. All of this was really so new to both of us. He married his high school sweetheart and was married for 20 years! He hadn't dated in 20 years, so needless to say, he did feel like a "fish out of water", as he so cleverly put it.

As I said in an earlier post, this was all new to me because I'd never really dated someone serious where alcohol didn't play a large part in the relationship at the time. I've learned, alcohol affects relationships in many ways. Don't fool yourself. It does!

I remember thinking again, this was all too good to be true. He asked me several times why I wasn't taken? Many reasons, but the most significant reason was because I was waiting for him. My Happily-Ever-After.

I was so ridiculously giddy and continually smiled from ear to ear when I was with him. He smiled a lot too. Two weeks after we met, I wrote in my journal that I felt I was living a dream. It was hard to believe this was all happening to me. The relationship felt different than anything I've ever experienced on so many levels...especially the "maturity" level-despite the fact, I blushed every time I was around him! I desired to get to know him better, to understand him, to know what he'd been through and how he made it to the other side.

Funny thing I wrote in my journal on 5-10-05, was after a visit with my dentist, Dr. Duncan. Gary also went to him and had been in a few days before...I guess Gary had mentioned he'd met me and we'd gone out a few times...so when I sat down in the chair, Dr. Duncan called me "Mary Ann"...(from Gilligan's Island)...I knew exactly what he was implying. Mary Ann's real name is "Dawn Wells". I remember that all too well since I watched Gilligan's Island everyday after school at 4:30. I thought that was cute of him and hoped it was prophetic!

One thing I learned about Gary very soon, was that he was a marvelous communicator. That was not something I'd seen in most of the guys I'd dated before. However, that was one of the items on my list...so, I checked that off as "done."
Having lost my parents and many other loved ones, I could relate to the grieving part he was experiencing, but not to the part of losing a spouse to death. Divorce, maybe, but not death. Going through a divorce was much like a death to me and many times I thought it was harder than losing both of my parents. I survived both, thank goodness. Grief was something we often discussed. I prayed God would help me just "be there" for him as he went through that process. Sometimes, I thought, "this is all too soon, he is still grieving so much. But, I feel I helped him through some of that in a healthy way.

Our romance continued to blossom and we spent a lot of time together and conversed so much about our previous lives and how we got to where we were today. I found myself extremely attracted to his "easiness and gentleness," I even found it to be "sexy" but not in a lustful way, but a "chemistry" kind of way...if that makes sense.
So, I will continue the story in a few days. I'm heading to Lubbock tomorrow to attend a retreat, dubbed, "A Spa for Your Soul." Sounds good, huh? I'm really excited. My friend, Teresa, and I are going together and hoping to learn a lot about ourselves that will propel us into the next season God has waiting for us. I will be back on Friday evening and will do my best to post again on Saturday. Until then...my friends :)

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