Somewhere In Between . . .

I'm a step mom to two adult children...most of you know that. The past two weekends have been significant for me as a step-mom. First, was "Mother's Day" which always brings with it such strange emotions for me. Not only as a step mom, but as a daughter who's lost her mom, too. Because my two step children lost their mom to breast cancer as well, I always wonder if we're feeling some of the same things on that day. But wait! I'm now a step-mom on Mother's Day, so that puts me somewhere in between....(hence, the title of this post.) :) This year, I was so blessed to receive a sweet gift from Bree and Daniel (my son-in-law.) I was so touched by their thoughtfulness and the selection of the gift...it was SO me!

The other significant occasion was this past weekend; Britton graduated from Texas A&M! A huge feat for him and he did very well. We celebrated his great accomplishment with food, fun and fellowship and had a great time this past weekend. When I looked at the picture taken, I thought, "You don't seem like a step-mom...you seem more like a "buddy."

On the plane ride back home this past weekend, it occurred to me that I am not completely comfortable with the title "step mom" because I feel somewhere in between. I became a step mom when I married Gary four years ago and Bree was 21 and Britton was 18. The problem I had was NO EXPERIENCE being a mom of any kind, except of course, to Shorty Danielle, my precious miniature dachshund. But that really doesn't help with adult children. :)

During the past four years, I've tried too hard, not tried hard enough and made many mistakes along the way at this "step mom" thing. Thankfully, two years in, I read Ron Deal's book, The Smart Step-Family and was most enlightened which gave me hope that I hadn't totally messed everything up for our future! :)

But here's something else I've discovered this past weekend that gives me hope, understanding and some grace.....I AM somewhere in between....I have not ever been a "mother" to a person and therefore, don't really know what that is like. I've not had the greatest example for a mother since mine left when I was seven. So, feeling somewhere in between "step mom and friend" is perfectly okay. Sometimes I act silly, as if I'm 25 again when Bree and I are shopping and I think, "You should act more like a parental figure." Ha! That's just not me. I realize that "step-mom" does hold some authority to it, but in reality, Bree and Britton are adults and able to make their own decisions. If they want advice, they'll ask for it...otherwise, I think I'll remain "somewhere in between" because it seems to be where I fit best.

I highly recommend Ron Deal's books, The Smart Step-Family and The Smart Step-Mom...both are incredible resources for a blended family. You can get them at successfulstepfamilies.com or .org....

I am blessed to have the family I have...not only the one I was born with, but also the one God gave me later in life.

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 :)

Two things. . .Culture and Time

The past week has been a great one with a couple of outstanding "revelations" and we know...with revelation comes freedom and I'm all about some freedom! I'm reading Beth Moore's book: So Long, Insecurity...and it is fabulous! One thing that really hit me and it's so "elementary", but anyway, I really got it when I read it in her book...Insecurities come from places where we might not have had any control over the situation, i.e. abandonment, rejection, early loss, etc....but two places it comes from that we DO have control over is Culture and our Pride! (Yuk! The "P" word again!) The culture issue really struck me because of certain things I do and the ways I think...which play right into the whole insecurity thing. For example, I used to love watching Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, etc...etc... Deep down in my soul was a lie from the enemy that went something like this..."If you don't become SOMEONE, like THEM (meaning Hollywood and famous), your life will have no significance." Yes, it's true, I have heard that lie for many years deep in my soul. As a young girl, I wanted to be an actress or model and now I realize that something inside of me feels insignificant if I'm not out there in front of everyone! Yes, pride is rooted in that issue as well. So, one thing Beth suggested is to "fast" from these things that we do that involve "culture"....such as...stop watching those Hollywood news shows, etc. Also, I've had this obsession with my hair for the past five years....and I do mean OBSESSION! Not in a good way, either. I have spent oodles of money on hair style magazines now for over 5 years looking for the perfect "cut." I've been completely dissatisfied with every style I've had for some time now b/c it's not THE perfect style, compared to ALL those gorgeous women in the magazines!....Oh my goodness! So, I'm fasting those shows on TV and I'm fasting those hair style magazines and do you know what? I DO feel much better about myself! Beth said I would and she was sure right! I'm not comparing myself to airbrushed perfection and coming up short every time anymore and it is quite liberating to say the least! So, that's my "culture" spill.

Now for the Time issue. I've been a Housewife Extraordinaire for the past year and a half and I've had much trouble trying to balance out my day, my schedule and my priorities. So much so, it has caused depression and oppression over the past few months. I know I should be delighted to be living the life I dreamed of, but my joy was missing and I couldn't figure out why. Well, I finally got on my knees so I could hear a little better and lo and behold, did God have something to say....OUch!!! He gently expressed to me that I had made "Time" my idol and had been worshipping it, hoarding it and ultimately, always coming up short with it. He said if I'd seek Him first, He would add to my time and increase it as well as my joy! But I first must come to Him to get full to overflowing. God has also helped me figure out a schedule to keep me from feeling like a ping-pong ball in a national tournament! I realize these revelations are so elementary, but I tell you what, the enemy is constantly lurking around to get us off track and he's so subtle. I'm completely headed for Canada when I wanted to go to Houston!! Well, no more of that! I have my GPS (God's Providential Services) tuned in to His will for my life and despite the 70 mile an hour wind today, I have much joy to give! (Normally, just a 40 mile an hour wind would zapfu my joy.)

So, having said all that...I hope you find something that you can relate to and apply to your life. We're all in this thing called "life" together, til we get to the BIG PARTY! Be blessed! :)