Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Living BIG or Living small?

I wish I could say the reason I haven't posted since April is because all I've done is LIVED REALLY BIG for the past eight months, but that wouldn't be completely true.  And if it were true, you would have read all about it!  So, suffice it say, I've been lazy, distracted and have overlooked my blog--confession made, let's move on.

Here's the question:  Have you been living really BIG or living really small?  What do I mean by that?  For Christians, we've been promised an abundant, full life.  The definition of "abundant" is this:  present in great quantity; more than adequate; over-sufficient.  Every day we are invited to live a life that is PRESENT IN GREAT QUANTITY; MORE THAN ADEQUATE....OVER-SUFFICIENT....!  Did you hear that? (Trust me, I'm speaking to myself.)  When we accept His offer and surrender to the Holy Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit will be what we receive....love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  What else could we ask for, really?  I mean, seriously, think about that....read through those gifts again....LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTROL!  . . . EVERYDAY!  We don't have to do much to live life full of those attributes, we only have to surrender to Jesus every morning and accept His invitiation to live life to the fullest WITH HIM!

Or . . . are we living our lives really small?  When I'm living life small, I'm trapped in my own little world of me.  Just poor ol' me.  Maybe I think my situation is worse than anyone else, or no one understands what I'm going through or if I could just have this or that. . .THEN my life would be full.  The common denominator in a small way of life is me.  Just me.  No one else.   When I live a life so small, there's actually no room for anyone or anything else.  SELF takes up residency in my heart and head and suffocates the life right out of me.  Literally.  Everything else dies because SELF has smothered it to death. We don't even have enough room in our minds to think of someone else.  This is a great tool of the enemy to keep us living a small life and before we know it, we wake up everyday to a small world without hope, without joy, without love-without any of God's goodness.  Trust me, that is no way to live.

I challenge us to open the doors wide to our hearts and mind- spread our wings and soar!  Stop limiting my life to ME.  It causes us to live really smallAbundant and small just don't go together, now do they?

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. 
I came that they may have life and have it ABUNDANTLY.  
John 10:10 ESV 


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Birthday Month Recap. . .

Well, another birthday month has come and gone.  I had the great pleasure last night of having a birthday dinner with my dear friend, Karen Saunders, at Outback, with my favorite appetizer of theirs: Macaroni and Cheese!  In case you didn't know, they make the BEST mac & cheese.

 I explained to Karen why I think I love my birthday so much.  After writing in my journal to God, these thoughts came to mind:  "Every year, I enjoy my birthday more and more.  I just love that day of specialness; knowing You (God) created me on that day for a very special purpose."  Shouldn't we all love that day?  We are made in God's image, to complete some part of His purpose here on Earth.  Wow!  That's extremely special, indeed!

Having declared the year 2013 as the year to fast fear, I faced my fear of cutting my hair short, (very short!)  Years and years of fear, overcome by one day of courage...a whole lot of courage!!!

Karen gave me the most interesting book for my birthday.  Ever Wonder is the title of this thought-provoking book.  Each page has a different question or statement to ponder. Here's the question I attach to overcoming the fear of cutting my hair off: "Why be afraid of something you want?"  let me type that again, Why be afraid of something you want? Simple question; complex answer, huh? I don't know about you, but I have found myself afraid of things I really wanted!  How ridiculous is that?

For years, I've looked at hairstyle magazines and my eye was always drawn towards the short hairstyles....yet, I feared cutting my hair, but I wanted short hair!  It makes no sense, does it?  Granted, I am only talking about something minor in life, such as hair...I've been guilty of fearing more important things I've wanted, such as, intimacy with God or even certain people in my life.

Why do we fear what we want?  That is a question that causes me to think about past behavior, thoughts, actions, etc...all rooted in fear, even though the fear is keeping me from something I really want!  If that is not an indication of how the enemy deceives us, I don't know what it is.

So, here's to another fear blasted away in 2013!!!  I like having short hair.  For me, it is quite freeing.  I think for years I've been a short haired woman trapped in a long-haired girl's body!  Finally, some freedom from the bondage of long hair!!  I look in the mirror and now have the hairstyle I've looked at in magazines for YEARS!  Literally, years (just ask Gary!)  Poor guy, he's had to listen to me talk about wanting short hair the entire time we've been married.....almost 7 years!!!

So. . .I have to ask you. . .Is there something you fear that you really want?  Maybe its time to face that question and move past the fear....what awaits on the other side could be the freedom you long for! :)




They are confident and fearless 
and can face their foes triumphantly.
Psalm 112:8 NLT

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Transformed-Made New-Set Free. . .

While working with a woman from North Carolina on developing a message, she asked me to come up with a "tagline"....basically stating what my message is all about.  The tagline needs to be succinct, catchy and easily remembered.  After listing 15 or so different possibilities, I landed on this:

TRANSFORMED - MADE NEW - SET FREE

I base my tagline on my absolute favorite scripture:
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 
old things have passed away, 
behold all things are made new!" 

 I recite this verse in my head many times when I'm tempted to doubt, fear, feel inadequate or any other negative reaction I might have to life.  This verse is a banner I fly over me when the enemy comes knocking, sometimes, banging my door down to hurt me, tempt me or just flat out lie to me!

As the Lord gives me opportunities to speak to women, I find one thing in common...we women, as Christians, are struggling with some pretty heavy stuff.  It saddens me to hear some of the burdens women are carrying around, heavy laden with grief, fear, anger, sadness, loneliness, unforgiveness, and the list goes on and on.  It makes me so angry with the enemy I could just spit!! (On him, of course.)

We are brand new in Christ.  All of the "old stuff" has passed away because the Spirit of Jesus lives
inside of us!  I love that good news.  It is the absolute truth as well!

The next time you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, or you're tempted with the things of old, remember the verse:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 
old things have passed away, 
behold all things are made new!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Erwin and Othelia Cartrite

It's amazing to me that the last post on my blog was about Sunray and now, three months later, here I am posting about two amazing people from Sunray...ironic.

Yesterday, I attended the most beautiful Celebration of Life Service for two of the most beautiful servants of Jesus: Erwin and Othelia Cartrite from Sunray, my hometown.  They had been married for 62 years and were married in the Sunray Baptist Church....the very church that we celebrated their lives in yesterday.  Two people who lived their entire lives loving each other, their daughters and family and the community of Sunray.  I was blessed to receive their special love as well.

Their youngest daughter, Celesta "Red", and I were the same age.  We began Kindergarten together and graduated together.  While growing up in my dysfunctional home, I found their functional home as a sweet safe haven.  Erwin and Othelia would pick me up for church on Sunday mornings many days and I spent many nights at their house as well.  Despite all their unconditional love and acceptance, I still ventured away from Jesus during my adult life as I rebelled and acted out my anger from life's circumstances.

Many years went by where I didn't come to Sunray much because of the sad memories left in my heart.  But anytime I saw Erwin and Othelia, it was as if no time had passed at all.  Erwin still cut up with me, joked around and Othelia still loved on me just as a mother would.

In August of last year, I had a book signing at Hastings here in Amarillo one Saturday afternoon. Lo and behold who do I see standing before me?  Erwin Cartrite!!!  He was by himself that day, which was very unusual since he and Othelia went just about everywhere together.  He drove to Amarillo that day just to come see me and buy a few of my books.  I couldn't believe it!  I'm not even sure how he found out I was having a book signing that day.  But it didn't matter, I was so delighted to see him.  We visited and joked around as was common with Erwin and he bought several copies of my book that day.  He had some specific people he wanted to give one to.  My heart was delighted to see him.

A month or so later, I was asked to speak in Sunray at the Baptist Church for the Women's Fall Kick-off banquet in October.  Wow, what an honor to be asked to speak at this event.  I felt I was finally ready to return to the town where it all started for me, give my testimony of hope and love on the women of that sweet church.  As the day approached, my heart became more and more excited to go "home" with hope in my heart instead of sad memories.  (See previous post "Coming Full Circle")

Sheryl Cartrite Winegarner and her sweet Mom, Othelia were my biggest fans in the audience.  What an absolute delight to see them that night and love on them and also receive their love as well.  There's a reason Sheryl got the nick name "Mama Sheryl"....she has the kind of love for others that only a mother has....and her love never runs out.  Hmm? I wonder where she got that?? :)

That night, Sheryl and I said we should get together sometime at her parent's house....have lunch and a red velvet cake! (Othelia is quite famous for her red velvet cake....one of my favorites)....We didn't set a date, but it sure sounded like a great idea!

Weeks went by and we decided on December 3rd....Gary was going to be out of town and I could drive to Sunray and spend the afternoon with Sheryl and her parents.  We'd eat a great lunch because they are such great cooks!  So, we did it.  Sheryl's husband, Coach Winegarner, came as well, which was another surprise!  I hadn't seen him in many years!  Coach was one of my favorite coaches from high school and a sure blast from the past as well!  We had enchilada casserole that was out of this world that Sheryl made and red velvet cake as well!  Delicious!!! 

After lunch, we sat around in the living room of Erwin and Othelia's house, where I'd sat many a time before, and we visited and visited and visited about everything and anything!  Mrs. Rogers, my 8th grade English teacher joined us as well and we laughed out loud til our sides were hurting!

As I was getting ready to return to Amarillo, now about 6:00 in the evening, we decided we needed to take some pictures and oh, am I glad we did!  Erwin was trying to use my phone to take pictures of Coach, Sheryl and me, but kept putting the phone down right after he snapped the picture, so we kept coming up short.....lol! 

We laughed so hard out there on the driveway at Erwin's photography abilities I thought I might pee in my pants!!  He was absolutely hilarious!  We finally got some pics and I got on my way home to Amarillo with a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon across my face!  What a day!  Yes, what a day it was to remember.

 Just a few weeks later, Othelia was diagnosed with brain cancer and the prognosis wasn't good.  I couldn't believe it.  In early January, she was admitted to BSA for dehydration and I went up to see her.  Celesta was in town from Minneapolis and I hadn't seen her in such a long time.  It was so good to catch up with her, yet, I knew her heart was breaking for her mom.  Erwin was still his ornery self and kept us all in stitches!  Every person that walked through Othelia's door got met with this: "Did you know she wrote a book?"  Erwin was my biggest fan and promoter of the book, to the point I turned red when he said it over and over!  Deep down, I was delighted that he was proud of me.  It felt good to have him so proud.

Othelia got released to a rehab in Dumas and later went on home.  Not long after she got home, Celesta sent me a text that said her mom had regressed and seemed ready to let go.  It was all happening so fast, I was in disbelief!  In the meantime, Erwin had a minor prostate surgery scheduled for the 21st.  Now this is a man who never drank a drop of alcohol nor touched tobacco in his entire life!  (oh how I wish I could say that as well.) 

After the surgery, Erwin's blood pressure dropped drastically and he suffered a massive heart attack.  The doctors and nurses worked desperately to save him, but the damage was too extensive.  In a second, Erwin was gone from this earth.  What?  What just happened here?  That was a Tuesday morning.  Meanwhile, Othelia is barely hanging on for her life and two days later, she passes and is now in the arms of Jesus and Erwin once again.  Bittersweet, huh?  62 years together on earth.  Eternity in Heaven.  A love story like no other.

But wait, there's more!  Celesta's husband, Scott, had never given his life to Jesus.  This worried Othelia as she talked about her concerns when I was at her house in December.  This was a burden on her heart and had become a burden on my heart as well.  Yet, God in all His splendor and glory made all things good for those who love the Lord!  The night before Erwin and Othelia's celebration of life service, Scott gave his life to the Lord and accepted Jesus as his Savior!!!

In God's world, ALL things work together for good!  ALL THINGS!  Sure, we are sad to lose Erwin and Othelia from this physical world...but it's just a small window of time compared to our eternal lives we'll spend with them and Jesus....but it is all worth it to have ONE life saved from hell and condemnation!  As believers, THAT is what it's all about!  Sharing the Good News of Jesus with those who are lost so they can spend eternity in Heaven!!!  Erwin and Othelia are dancing with the angels and celebrating the new life of their son-in-law Scott!  I bet they wouldn't have it any other way than how it all worked out this week.  I certainly wouldn't either.

"God our Savior. . .wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth."
I Timothy 2:3-4
 
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