As I read my journal from May, 2005-each entry tells about a man who keeps surprising me at every turn (and still does.) One night, after having a great conversation with Gary about my thoughts about having children...which, by the way, I gave him my "pat" answer: "I can't miss something I've never had," he was leaving and wanted to pray over me. Oh My! Had I died and gone to Heaven? As we embraced, ear to ear, he whispered the sweetest prayer over me, in his gentle voice and I thought I was going to melt, right through his arms. Funny thing, WE both said "this is too good to be true!" Normally, when I hear that statement, I run...but I learned something, when it feels too good to be true in a Godly relationship--its God at His finest!
Our courtship was one of grace, love, redemption and boundaries...four things I've never experienced in any relationship. We just wanted to spend time together to get to know each other, more and more. Our likes and dislikes, our temperaments, quirks, phobias, hang-ups--everything. I'd honestly never met a man like Gary Wells in my life and it was beyond difficult to believe God had put this man in my life for such a time as this. I AM blessed!
I remember the night we went to a fund-raiser at the Panhandle Plains Museum in Canyon, (he lived in Canyon at this time.) This was our "official" first date in Canyon, where he knew, once we were "seen" out, the buzz would be buzzing. I asked him if he was ready for that, and he said, without hesitation, he was. It was this night that I met Bree, Gary's daughter, and oldest child of two. I wrote in my journal: I met Bree tonight. She is a striking-got-it-all-together strong, young lady. Confident and ambitious. It was a little awkward because I didn't really know how she felt about her dad dating, but I tried to just be me.
I also met Britton, Gary's son. He'll be a senior this year. He's a tall, handsome, gentleman. Seems to have a sweet spirit, just like his dad.
We all seemed a little nervous at our first meeting, but his children were delightful, friendly and good-spirited about it all. That helped make that first meeting a little easier.
I've never felt more like a "fish out of water" as I did this particular night. I have never had children, and I didn't have a great role model for a mom, so I felt completely inadequate and ill-equipped at the idea of ever being a "step-mom." (yes, I admit, marrying Gary had already crossed my mind a hundred times before this night.)
One thing I did have in common with Bree and Britton was this: I'd lost my dad when I was 15 years old, (Britton was 16 when his mom died) and I'd lost my mom when I was 22 years old, (Bree was 21 when her mom died.) Now, that doesn't seem like a wonderful thing to have in common, but it was something of great significance that happened in all three of our lives that we could relate to through our pain. I knew deep down they were still hurting and grieving the loss of their mother. Even though I couldn't share their pain with them directly, I was sharing it with them indirectly-just by knowing the very heartache they were feeling and being able to empathize with them. This was something even Gary couldn't identify with because his parents were still alive and well.
It's difficult to know someone is hurting and even understand their pain, yet not be able to do anything for them or comfort them in any way. That's how I felt for Bree and Britton. It was tough and my insecurities were rising to the top, but God showed up and showed off, as He does in such a glorious way. Through my trials and insecurities (weaknesses), He proves to be strongest, which is what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9. I had many weaknesses, so there was LOTS of opportunities for Christ's power to rest on me. :)
Our courtship was one of grace, love, redemption and boundaries...four things I've never experienced in any relationship. We just wanted to spend time together to get to know each other, more and more. Our likes and dislikes, our temperaments, quirks, phobias, hang-ups--everything. I'd honestly never met a man like Gary Wells in my life and it was beyond difficult to believe God had put this man in my life for such a time as this. I AM blessed!
I remember the night we went to a fund-raiser at the Panhandle Plains Museum in Canyon, (he lived in Canyon at this time.) This was our "official" first date in Canyon, where he knew, once we were "seen" out, the buzz would be buzzing. I asked him if he was ready for that, and he said, without hesitation, he was. It was this night that I met Bree, Gary's daughter, and oldest child of two. I wrote in my journal: I met Bree tonight. She is a striking-got-it-all-together strong, young lady. Confident and ambitious. It was a little awkward because I didn't really know how she felt about her dad dating, but I tried to just be me.
I also met Britton, Gary's son. He'll be a senior this year. He's a tall, handsome, gentleman. Seems to have a sweet spirit, just like his dad.
We all seemed a little nervous at our first meeting, but his children were delightful, friendly and good-spirited about it all. That helped make that first meeting a little easier.
I've never felt more like a "fish out of water" as I did this particular night. I have never had children, and I didn't have a great role model for a mom, so I felt completely inadequate and ill-equipped at the idea of ever being a "step-mom." (yes, I admit, marrying Gary had already crossed my mind a hundred times before this night.)
One thing I did have in common with Bree and Britton was this: I'd lost my dad when I was 15 years old, (Britton was 16 when his mom died) and I'd lost my mom when I was 22 years old, (Bree was 21 when her mom died.) Now, that doesn't seem like a wonderful thing to have in common, but it was something of great significance that happened in all three of our lives that we could relate to through our pain. I knew deep down they were still hurting and grieving the loss of their mother. Even though I couldn't share their pain with them directly, I was sharing it with them indirectly-just by knowing the very heartache they were feeling and being able to empathize with them. This was something even Gary couldn't identify with because his parents were still alive and well.
It's difficult to know someone is hurting and even understand their pain, yet not be able to do anything for them or comfort them in any way. That's how I felt for Bree and Britton. It was tough and my insecurities were rising to the top, but God showed up and showed off, as He does in such a glorious way. Through my trials and insecurities (weaknesses), He proves to be strongest, which is what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9. I had many weaknesses, so there was LOTS of opportunities for Christ's power to rest on me. :)
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