Taking My Land Back from the Enemy

A sure thing:  when you experience a victory, the enemy is right there waiting to snatch it away from you!  He comes to steal, kill and destroy.  He is relentless.

Exactly one week after the Samaritan Luncheon when I gave my testimony, we had another function to attend.  It was the opening of the Jatawn Wells' Prayer Garden at the Medical Center League House.  This has been in the making for almost seven years.  It finally came to fruition last Thursday.  Gary was on the committee the entire time during planning and building.  The garden came together beautifully, much to our surprise after the first viewing earlier this summer.  The entire evening was a tribute to Jatawn and Bree delivered an amazing speech depicting who Jatawn was to her.

Here comes the vulnerable part:  It was a difficult night for me.  God, in all His faithfulness, has given me the grace to handle delicate situations like this.  However, one issue I have battled since my dad died and I moved in with an aunt and uncle is feeling "less than, second best, and never able to measure up."  The enemy has tortured me with those thoughts for many years.  I work on the issue and it goes away for a while, but sure enough, satan throws those lies at me again and again.  He's quite clever, you know?

So, after hearing this amazing tribute to Gary's first wife, Jatawn, the enemy does his favorite thing and begins to tell me those same lies.  Off and on, during our marriage, the enemy has condemned me with these accusations:  "You're Gary's SECOND wife, not his first wife...you're second best.  You're even sloppy seconds because look where all you've been!  You could never measure up, never!  So don't even try."  Having an attitude of defeat wouldn't surprise anyone after listening to those lies, huh?   He came in hard and heavy and a spirit of oppression and defeat was left on me in the wake of his destruction.  He had me convinced for about two days that I didn't have the right to stand up for myself to him and I had to live with his encroachment for the duration of our marriage!  He was actually setting up camp in MY marriage and convincing me he could!

Until today, when I finally took the advice of my sister, Terri, and plugged in my IPod and listened to Jimmy Evan's message on See Me Defeated.  I certainly felt defeated, so the message was more than appropriate.  The revelation that came from that message was this:  Satan has been encroaching upon the land of my marriage since the beginning with all his lies about me being second best and never able to measure up.  In my defeat, I gave up my land to him, believing I didn't have a right to it anyway. I am Gary's second wife, after all.  (Satan always comes with a morsel of truth to get us to listen, then he distorts it to complete his scheme against us.) I knew one thing for sure: God gave me to Gary as a gift and He gave Gary to me as a gift.  Anything God gives me IS rightfully mine!  I do have the right to this marriage, but satan is going to attack it from every angle.  My job is to FIGHT him off MY land!  Jimmy used the illustration of the Year of Jubilee, when everything-entire inheritances, were restored to the rightful owner.  THIS is my year (season) of Jubilee.  My marriage to Gary has been the best thing to ever happen to me.  In more ways than one, we have redeemed each other, taught each other how to live again, and healed many wounds, all while having a great time!  I've never had that before in my life and through this marriage, God has gifted me my inheritance back that the enemy stole many years ago. 

I have a new energy, confidence and desire to fight satan OFF my land!  He will NOT take what is rightfully mine and I will not give in to him again.  I will not give him one inch of my land! 

What is satan trying to steal from you?  God gave you an abundant inheritance when you first believed and received Jesus to be your Savior.  Has satan tried to steal your inheritance and made you believe you weren't the rightful owner?  Its time for you to stand up and fight for what IS rightfully yours!  I'm with you all the way!

"Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."  1 Peter 5:8-9 NIV

"With God we will gain the victory, and He will trample down our enemies."  Psalm 60:12 NIV

Another Level of Healing

Yesterday, I had the blessing and opportunity to share my testimony as a keynote speaker for Samaritan Pastoral Counseling Center of Amarillo.  Although God has given me several opportunities in the past to share what an amazing transformation He did in my life, I'd never been a "keynote speaker" and I'd never given my testimony before Norm's family.  Karen and Kyle were there yesterday and I knew it was going to be difficult to get through the part when Norm died before the wedding. 

The day before, during rehearsal, I broke down when I got to that part.  I thought, "Oh no, this is bad.  I can't "lose it" up there in front of 300 people!"  As a speaker, the one thing I desire in my flesh is to remain in control while delivering the message.  I feel it makes the audience nervous when a speaker really loses it and can't regain control of their emotions.  Twilla, the Executive Director of Samaritan, and my dear friend, prayed that God would use this opportunity to take me to a new level of healing.  As always, God was faithful to her prayer.

Yesterday morning, I awoke praising and worshiping God in a bold way!  I turned my music up loud and grabbed my Sword off the wall and began proclaiming the Word over me and the event.  A Source of power erupted in my Spirit and a new confidence came over me like never before.  All the issues of "people pleasing, approval seeking and delivering a perfect speech" fell off of me like autumn leaves falling from a tree as the wind blows through its branches.

I asked many people to pray for calmness, a heart rate below 70 and that I would get through the difficult part without losing it.  All of those prayers were answered abundantly.  After about the first minute or so of speaking, a calmness came over me like I'd never felt while giving my testimony.  It was surreal.  When I got to the part about Norm's death, I did cry, because it still hurts me that he's not here, but I didn't "lose it."  Holy Spirit was there on that stage with me and He comforted me in all the areas I needed.

Afterward, Bree came up to me and we hugged tightly and she whispered words in my ear that felt like a soothing balm covering every inch of my Spirit and soul. Although I can't recall exactly what she said as there were many people around us talking, I do remember the word "anointed,"  that the message I gave was anointed, I believe.  Her words to me were anointed because they brought healing to me.  God knew the exact words I needed to hear at that moment and He used Bree to deliver them.  What a blessing all in itself!

What seemed like a treacherous trial the day before, turned into a glorious victory the day of!  God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ever ask or think....He Is FAITHFUL!