Needless to say, when I drove off Friday, I had no idea how long the weekend would seem while waiting to hear from Gary. I honestly thought he might call THAT night! On Saturday, I spoke with Bill, and he assured me Gary was interested and he'd call. That's when I found out that Bill and another "cohort" had been secretly trying to introduce Gary and me, but just hadn't figured out how to do it. He was so glad we'd met at the golf tournament, but maybe a little disappointed he wasn't the actual one to introduce us. Nevertheless, Bill was delighted for both of us. He felt we would be perfect for one another.
Finally, Monday, May 2, 2005 rolled around and it SNOWED! Can you believe that? Well, of course you can if you're from the Panhandle. I marked that day on my calendar not because it snowed, but because Gary CALLED! Oh, you should have seen me pacing back and forth while we spoke on the phone that day. What's even better, is what I did after we hung up...you would have thought I'd just won the lottery! I jumped up and down, thanking the Lord, smiling, laughing and tearing up with overwhelming joy oozing from every cell in my body! I'm positive I've never acted like that before in regards to a guy calling. Something was different this time....that "something" was me. I was different.
For the first time in my life, at 40 years of age, I desired to enter into a relationship with a guy who loved the Lord. Also, for the first time in my life, I entered this relationship without the crutch of alcohol to minimize all my insecurities. That's huge since every past relationship had the effect of alcohol on it somewhere, somehow. And, for the first time in my life, I loved the Lord more than any man on Earth and knew a man could not provide all my needs as the Lord could. With that frame of mind, Gary had a fighting chance in a relationship with me. The "Old Dawn" expected Gary to fill that hole in my heart that was so deep. The "Old Dawn" expected Gary to make me happy and keep me joyful.
I read a great book while in my "valley" stage of singleness and working out my salvation with the Lord. The name of the book is Falling In Love with Jesus, by Kathy Troccoli. That book showed me that above all men, Jesus IS my Husband. All my needs are met through Him and I don't have to worry about any man not being able to meet all my needs. This was a huge revelation for me to get. Until the age of 15, I'd solely depended on Dad to meet all my needs. When he suddenly died, I fell apart. Then, when I married a man very similar to my dad, in hopes he could meet all my needs, I was completely disappointed and disillusioned again. No man can meet all our needs. They aren't capable and neither am I capable of meeting all of a man's needs.
Another resource I listened to while very single was Our Secret Paradise by Jimmy Evans. That CD was powerful and life-changing for my unrealistic expectations of marriage. From that resource, I learned that we're all messed up! Even my soul mate is messed up! No matter who it is, they are messed UP! Try to wrap your head around that and don't forget it! The grass isn't greener on the other side. When you meet a new person, hoping they'll be much better than the last one you had, guess what? They're messed up, too! Yep, you can't get away from hooking up with someone who's got issues. We all have issues. We all have some baggage from our past...maybe we've gotten rid of some of the heavy suitcases, but, no doubt, you're still carrying a backpack of some sort. The most riveting statement Jimmy Evans made in that CD was: "In relationships, we either heal each other, or hurt each other. We must learn to redeem each other from past hurts and wounds." That was profound to me, and music to my ears. The entire CD changed my outlook on marriage. I'd never seen a healthy marriage to model, so I was guessing at every turn. But when I listened to that CD, I realized, the "perfect" marriage or mate is not out there. That took me off the hook to try to be some "perfect" wife that I had NO idea how or ability to be. I also deeply desired to meet my Earthly redeemer. I had lots of hurts and wounds I carried around with me...but I could only imagine what it would be like to be with a man who would help me heal those wounds and redeem my past. Little did I know, my imagination didn't even have a glimpse of the goodness that was about to overcome my life. . .
DESK UPDATE:
Okay, I stenciled my design all over the desk; glazed over the entire desk with "burnt umber", and I decoupaged` leopard paper on a few key areas. I'm quite pleased with its transformation so far. I'm anxious to post another picture of it, but decided to wait until I have finished the transformation. Soon, very soon. :)
BOEUF BOURGUIGNON (Beef Burgundy) UPDATE:
Well, how do I put this, I was somewhat disappointed in the outcome of what took 5+ hours to prepare and cook. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the meal, but I guess I expected something more spectacular on my taste buds. It was good, but I must say, translated in American cooking, this is just a "Glorified Stew." I enjoyed the process and learned some new things and even purchased a "Dutch Oven" just for this recipe. I'd never cooked with a Dutch oven. Thankfully, our guests, Bree and Daniel, were a delight to cook for and serve.
I don't see myself making this recipe again, but I did order Julia Child's cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and look forward to trying some of her other recipes, especially the one's that don't say: "difficult" beside the name. :))) toodles:)
Finally, Monday, May 2, 2005 rolled around and it SNOWED! Can you believe that? Well, of course you can if you're from the Panhandle. I marked that day on my calendar not because it snowed, but because Gary CALLED! Oh, you should have seen me pacing back and forth while we spoke on the phone that day. What's even better, is what I did after we hung up...you would have thought I'd just won the lottery! I jumped up and down, thanking the Lord, smiling, laughing and tearing up with overwhelming joy oozing from every cell in my body! I'm positive I've never acted like that before in regards to a guy calling. Something was different this time....that "something" was me. I was different.
For the first time in my life, at 40 years of age, I desired to enter into a relationship with a guy who loved the Lord. Also, for the first time in my life, I entered this relationship without the crutch of alcohol to minimize all my insecurities. That's huge since every past relationship had the effect of alcohol on it somewhere, somehow. And, for the first time in my life, I loved the Lord more than any man on Earth and knew a man could not provide all my needs as the Lord could. With that frame of mind, Gary had a fighting chance in a relationship with me. The "Old Dawn" expected Gary to fill that hole in my heart that was so deep. The "Old Dawn" expected Gary to make me happy and keep me joyful.
I read a great book while in my "valley" stage of singleness and working out my salvation with the Lord. The name of the book is Falling In Love with Jesus, by Kathy Troccoli. That book showed me that above all men, Jesus IS my Husband. All my needs are met through Him and I don't have to worry about any man not being able to meet all my needs. This was a huge revelation for me to get. Until the age of 15, I'd solely depended on Dad to meet all my needs. When he suddenly died, I fell apart. Then, when I married a man very similar to my dad, in hopes he could meet all my needs, I was completely disappointed and disillusioned again. No man can meet all our needs. They aren't capable and neither am I capable of meeting all of a man's needs.
Another resource I listened to while very single was Our Secret Paradise by Jimmy Evans. That CD was powerful and life-changing for my unrealistic expectations of marriage. From that resource, I learned that we're all messed up! Even my soul mate is messed up! No matter who it is, they are messed UP! Try to wrap your head around that and don't forget it! The grass isn't greener on the other side. When you meet a new person, hoping they'll be much better than the last one you had, guess what? They're messed up, too! Yep, you can't get away from hooking up with someone who's got issues. We all have issues. We all have some baggage from our past...maybe we've gotten rid of some of the heavy suitcases, but, no doubt, you're still carrying a backpack of some sort. The most riveting statement Jimmy Evans made in that CD was: "In relationships, we either heal each other, or hurt each other. We must learn to redeem each other from past hurts and wounds." That was profound to me, and music to my ears. The entire CD changed my outlook on marriage. I'd never seen a healthy marriage to model, so I was guessing at every turn. But when I listened to that CD, I realized, the "perfect" marriage or mate is not out there. That took me off the hook to try to be some "perfect" wife that I had NO idea how or ability to be. I also deeply desired to meet my Earthly redeemer. I had lots of hurts and wounds I carried around with me...but I could only imagine what it would be like to be with a man who would help me heal those wounds and redeem my past. Little did I know, my imagination didn't even have a glimpse of the goodness that was about to overcome my life. . .
DESK UPDATE:
Okay, I stenciled my design all over the desk; glazed over the entire desk with "burnt umber", and I decoupaged` leopard paper on a few key areas. I'm quite pleased with its transformation so far. I'm anxious to post another picture of it, but decided to wait until I have finished the transformation. Soon, very soon. :)
BOEUF BOURGUIGNON (Beef Burgundy) UPDATE:
Well, how do I put this, I was somewhat disappointed in the outcome of what took 5+ hours to prepare and cook. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the meal, but I guess I expected something more spectacular on my taste buds. It was good, but I must say, translated in American cooking, this is just a "Glorified Stew." I enjoyed the process and learned some new things and even purchased a "Dutch Oven" just for this recipe. I'd never cooked with a Dutch oven. Thankfully, our guests, Bree and Daniel, were a delight to cook for and serve.
I don't see myself making this recipe again, but I did order Julia Child's cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and look forward to trying some of her other recipes, especially the one's that don't say: "difficult" beside the name. :))) toodles:)
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