I awoke the morning of my wedding day with mixed emotions. On one hand, this was my wedding day. I couldn't wait to put my dress and veil on with my hair curled just right. On the other hand, the man I'd become so close to in such a short time had died the night before. Everything seemed so surreal. One minute, I'd be putting on eyeshadow, the next, I'd be wiping away tears. My emotions were beyond a roller coaster ride...it seemed they raced to the moon and back every few minutes.
Jane King and her daughter, Kristin, were so gracious the night before to offer to come over and help me with my hair. The thought of curling my hair, the night before, made me nauseous. When they came over, we shed a few more tears, but they were so helpful in assisting me to get dressed and keep my make-up on my face and not down the front of my dress.
You know how your nose gets so red and swollen after crying so much? I figured by the time I reached the church, I'd look like Rudolph! God was even gracious towards my nose. Amazingly enough, it wasn't red in any of the pictures!
As bad as I was feeling, I could only imagine what Karen, Kendra and Kyle were feeling. I did know what it was like to lose a dad and that's the part that of me that cringed with sorrow. Although my dad died some 25 years prior, the pain from the day of his death was as fresh to my memory as what I'd done only five minutes before. It somehow never leaves. The pain's intensity diminishes, but the thought, "Dad's dead," still rings so loudly in my ears. It even pained me to think that Karen, Kendra, Kyle and all of their family were going to put on some outfit to attend my wedding after losing Norm! That seemed impossible, but they are people of great faith and they showed me and everyone else that "all things are possible with God."
In the Bridal room, many women came to hug me, not knowing the news about Norm. Every time I told someone, the tears would come again. I was literally sick to my stomach just speaking about Norm's death minutes before walking down the aisle to get married. It just didn't seem real to me. Truly, the Lord kept me standing on my two legs because otherwise, I might have fainted. My body and my heart were so weak.
But then, I looked out the window and saw Karen, Kendra and Kyle and the rest of the family walking in. Karen and Kendra came to the bridal room and we all three just embraced and wept. I couldn't believe they were there, but I was so delighted to see them and hold them. We knew we couldn't be in each other's company because of the amount of pain we all shared, so they excited to their seats quickly.
Jan, my sister Tanya, my cousin Mitzie and my spiritual mentor, Paula all came in and that helped me so much. I needed to see something "familiar." I needed to see someone who knew me and knew I was about to crack wide open. Just having them there was such great comfort to me.
It was a hot day, May 28th, 2006, the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend. We got married at the Wedding Chapel, located on 6th street-they acquired an old Methodist church. Gary and I didn't think many would show because of the holiday weekend, but the church was full of our friends and family. Granted, most people didn't know of Norm's passing, so Gary, very graciously addressed our guests prior to me walking down the aisle with the sad news. He was so poised and full of grace while he spoke of Norm, his family and what he meant to me. Some of the guests gasped at hearing this news because they had no idea he'd been so ill recently. I couldn't bear to listen to Gary because I knew I would cry hearing those words. Thankfully, the wedding was video taped. Gary ended with Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it."
As the wedding march rang through the church, I walked in and slowly made my way down the aisle. Gary came towards me and met me in the middle. I slipped my hand through his bended arm and we walked to the alter together. I felt I was leaving behind one great man in my life, Norm, and was entering into a new life with Gary. I've never experienced "bittersweet" to the degree I did on my wedding day. My knees were weak while standing at the alter, but as I focused on Gary's beautiful, blue eyes, I tried to see past my immediate pain and into a hopeful future.
There on the front row, sat Karen, Kendra, Kyle and all their family. As I looked at them, their smiles and tears were encouraging and hopeful. Their incredible strength throughout the ceremony gave me the courage to stand there and complete my vows and move into my new life. I needed that.
We had a quick reception with cake and punch. Gary and I danced to "God Blessed the Broken Road" and we left. We had a plane to catch in just a couple of hours. I was glad for that. I don't think I could have mingled with our guests for long. Their hearts were broken for me and my heart was broken for Karen and her family.
Throughout the day, Gary was such a gentle man to me. He knew my heart was weary and faint. Through God and Gary, I was able to get through this day and actually have pictures with a smile on my face--without a red nose!
We flew to Los Angeles that day and the next morning, flew to Maui, Hawaii for our honeymoon. Karen insisted we go and I needed her insistence. Norm's funeral was on Wednesday and it was also taped. I heard there was standing room only, which is not surprising. He was an amazing father, brother, co-worker and a friend to all.
Needless to say, I cried for the first three days of our honeymoon and Gary just held me. His arms literally held me together at times.
Soon after our honeymoon, I requested that we renew our vows on our 5th anniversary and have another small wedding-this time with tears of joy... Oh, how I look forward to May 28, 2011.
Jane King and her daughter, Kristin, were so gracious the night before to offer to come over and help me with my hair. The thought of curling my hair, the night before, made me nauseous. When they came over, we shed a few more tears, but they were so helpful in assisting me to get dressed and keep my make-up on my face and not down the front of my dress.
You know how your nose gets so red and swollen after crying so much? I figured by the time I reached the church, I'd look like Rudolph! God was even gracious towards my nose. Amazingly enough, it wasn't red in any of the pictures!
As bad as I was feeling, I could only imagine what Karen, Kendra and Kyle were feeling. I did know what it was like to lose a dad and that's the part that of me that cringed with sorrow. Although my dad died some 25 years prior, the pain from the day of his death was as fresh to my memory as what I'd done only five minutes before. It somehow never leaves. The pain's intensity diminishes, but the thought, "Dad's dead," still rings so loudly in my ears. It even pained me to think that Karen, Kendra, Kyle and all of their family were going to put on some outfit to attend my wedding after losing Norm! That seemed impossible, but they are people of great faith and they showed me and everyone else that "all things are possible with God."
In the Bridal room, many women came to hug me, not knowing the news about Norm. Every time I told someone, the tears would come again. I was literally sick to my stomach just speaking about Norm's death minutes before walking down the aisle to get married. It just didn't seem real to me. Truly, the Lord kept me standing on my two legs because otherwise, I might have fainted. My body and my heart were so weak.
But then, I looked out the window and saw Karen, Kendra and Kyle and the rest of the family walking in. Karen and Kendra came to the bridal room and we all three just embraced and wept. I couldn't believe they were there, but I was so delighted to see them and hold them. We knew we couldn't be in each other's company because of the amount of pain we all shared, so they excited to their seats quickly.
Jan, my sister Tanya, my cousin Mitzie and my spiritual mentor, Paula all came in and that helped me so much. I needed to see something "familiar." I needed to see someone who knew me and knew I was about to crack wide open. Just having them there was such great comfort to me.
It was a hot day, May 28th, 2006, the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend. We got married at the Wedding Chapel, located on 6th street-they acquired an old Methodist church. Gary and I didn't think many would show because of the holiday weekend, but the church was full of our friends and family. Granted, most people didn't know of Norm's passing, so Gary, very graciously addressed our guests prior to me walking down the aisle with the sad news. He was so poised and full of grace while he spoke of Norm, his family and what he meant to me. Some of the guests gasped at hearing this news because they had no idea he'd been so ill recently. I couldn't bear to listen to Gary because I knew I would cry hearing those words. Thankfully, the wedding was video taped. Gary ended with Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it."
As the wedding march rang through the church, I walked in and slowly made my way down the aisle. Gary came towards me and met me in the middle. I slipped my hand through his bended arm and we walked to the alter together. I felt I was leaving behind one great man in my life, Norm, and was entering into a new life with Gary. I've never experienced "bittersweet" to the degree I did on my wedding day. My knees were weak while standing at the alter, but as I focused on Gary's beautiful, blue eyes, I tried to see past my immediate pain and into a hopeful future.
There on the front row, sat Karen, Kendra, Kyle and all their family. As I looked at them, their smiles and tears were encouraging and hopeful. Their incredible strength throughout the ceremony gave me the courage to stand there and complete my vows and move into my new life. I needed that.
We had a quick reception with cake and punch. Gary and I danced to "God Blessed the Broken Road" and we left. We had a plane to catch in just a couple of hours. I was glad for that. I don't think I could have mingled with our guests for long. Their hearts were broken for me and my heart was broken for Karen and her family.
Throughout the day, Gary was such a gentle man to me. He knew my heart was weary and faint. Through God and Gary, I was able to get through this day and actually have pictures with a smile on my face--without a red nose!
We flew to Los Angeles that day and the next morning, flew to Maui, Hawaii for our honeymoon. Karen insisted we go and I needed her insistence. Norm's funeral was on Wednesday and it was also taped. I heard there was standing room only, which is not surprising. He was an amazing father, brother, co-worker and a friend to all.
Needless to say, I cried for the first three days of our honeymoon and Gary just held me. His arms literally held me together at times.
Soon after our honeymoon, I requested that we renew our vows on our 5th anniversary and have another small wedding-this time with tears of joy... Oh, how I look forward to May 28, 2011.
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