The "Funk. . ."

Ahh, The "Funk." Do you know what I'm talking about? It's that feeling that comes over me, completely unannounced and from left field....It seems to overtake me, and always by surprise. It's the claw that grabs my ankle, just when I think I've escaped it's grip....The "Funk" is when my hormones start doing their thing in my body. Physically, I can feel this veil-like oppression come over me and it is very dark in nature. The funk could very well be the thorn in my side that I've asked God to remove from me many times, yet, to no avail.

When the Funk comes, I just want to crawl under the covers and hide from everyone and everything. I don't feel like talking to people, in person or on the phone or even by email. What's weird is that I can get up of a morning and the Funk isn't there, but somehow, somewhere in the middle of my day, it just comes over me.

Today was that day. I got up, did some things around the house and got ready to meet a friend for Birthday celebration lunch....as it is still the month of April and I am still celebrating the birthday! :) All seemed well, except for the wind blowing 50 miles an hour! Then, I headed over to the nursing home to handle a situation that has come up with my Aunt Brenda. Nothing major, just something that needed handling.

Then, I got a message from my sister Tanya requesting my help in finding a storage building for my Aunt's belongings from their home in Sunray, per our cousin, Shelby in Sunray...and BAM! The funk came on me like white on rice! I realized after talking to myself and others, out-loud, in my car, that I am angry about something and need to ask God for His help on handling this situation. So, I came home and got my journal out and started telling Him all about it, (as if He didn't already know.) Wow! There is some pent-up anger in my heart towards this situation and I'm just not sure what to do with it. I figured the anger was the open door for the Funk to come through....and here I sit, writing about it.

You know why I'm writing about this on my blog? Because it's REAL to me right now. I would seem "white-washed" if all I ever talked about was how wonderful life is and never revealed some of those days where the "funk" is all over me, like today. Another reason I'm sharing this "out-loud" is because I am not ashamed to say, (anymore), that I might have some anger left over from some situations that happened years ago. I feel completely free to express that because I AM FREE TO SAY THE TRUTH! Another thing that comes to my mind is BOUNDARIES! Boundaries are such a good thing---IF EXERCISED. Left un-exercised, they are completely useless! It's interesting to me how I exercise my right to set boundaries and how I don't....with certain people. Hmm? What am I afraid of? If I set some boundaries with someone....are they going to be upset? Well, probably, but I haven't done anything to hurt them....I am just drawing a line around my life to protect myself. However, at one point in my life, I didn't feel I had the right to draw a line around my life and protect myself. I thought everyone had complete access to me at ALL times....no matter what! Just because of WHO they were! Ha! What a misconception to not utilize a healthy boundary.

Goodness, I best stop writing for now. My blood pressure is rising as my fingers tap along this keyboard expressing what's in my heart. I best go seek the Lord's face and find out how to get to the bottom of this, do some more forgiving and give this situation to the Lord so I don't allow the door to remain open and the enemy to continue sneaking in...


. . .till next time . .