Frustration

I am such a competitive person, it unnerves me sometimes. Most often, I'm competitive within myself. I honestly can't stand it when I can't figure something out. I will try and try and to no avail. Tonight, that "something" is Adobe Photoshop Elements! Grrr! The most frustrating thing is that earlier today, I had it figured out and this evening...nada...nothing....zilch! Total lock down in my head. Stumped and frustrated I sit here and write.

Over the years, I've learned that when I get to a place like this--total frustration--it's just best to stop what I'm trying to do, step back, take a deep breath and do something else---something that comes easy, to wash away that frustration. That's also when I start psycho-analyzining everything that just happened. My conversation might sound something like this with God, "Lord, what am I doing wrong? Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't I figure this out? I did it earlier today?" etc. etc. As I continue to ask questions like that, and receive no clear answers...my questions change to something like this: "Okay, Lord, is this something you want me to stop doing right now? Is there something else you have for me at this time that might be less difficult? Is there something else I could be doing that pleases You?" etc. etc.

I've found, that I don't stay in that frustrated mode quite as long as I used to and I"m thankful for that. Sometimes, what I need to do is reach out and ask for help, which is not something I feel comfortable doing. My competitive nature comes busting up in my spirit and I think I MUST FIGURE THIS OUT ON MY OWN. I don't think that's God's idea of fellowship, but it's just how I am sometimes.

I needed to step away from the Photoshop program and enter into my "sanctuary" of writing (the blog) so I could release some frustration, vent, analyze and such. You know what? It helped! I'm not going to attempt the photoshop program again tonight. It's too late to be frustrated and try to go to sleep. No I'm content to sit here and type my thoughts and feelings into Cyberspace for all to see. :) (Hi Melissa :)))

The saving grace for me is that I'm enrolled in a Photoshop class at AC that begins next Wednesday and I can't wait! Maybe that's my way of reaching out for help. I need it! I feel confident I will master this program within three months...(oops! there goes that competitive side again.) Oh well, I guess we all need goals, right? :)