When God says, "No."

I thoroughly enjoy Beth Moore's Bible Studies...all of them.  I continue to be amazed at how this woman of God can take Scripture and stories we've heard for many years about characters in the Bible and make them literally come to life before my eyes!  She is truly anointed as a teacher and I am thankful for the blessing of studying the Word with her.

A couple of weeks ago, Beth was winding down her hour long video after talking about the different "levels" of relationship Jesus had with others and how we are to model our relationships after Him.  Imagine five circles, each getting smaller and smaller.  The smallest circle in the middle depicted the relationship of Jesus to God.  His innermost relationship of all relationships.  Jesus had his 12 disciples that he took with him, but sometimes, he took just his three closest disciples, Peter, James and John.  But even still, there were times when he asked them to pray for Him and He went further still, with God and God alone.  There are times when even our closest friend or spouse is not what we need-we need to go closer inward with God...all by ourselves.

Have you ever had God say "no" to something you prayed for fervently?  Have you ever begged God to heal someone and He said, "no?"  I imagine we all have.  For the past five years, I have wondered "why?" to the death of Norm, the night before my wedding.  Norm, in case you didn't know, became like a father figure to me after the Lord put us together so I could give Norm a kidney.  He needed a kidney and I needed a father figure.  It was an amazing miracle of sorts and he was an amazing man.  Sadly, he started to reject the kidney about two weeks before our wedding.  His kidney had already stopped working for him a few months before and he was back on dialysis, which was a heartbreak all in itself.  But to remove a kidney was routine and the doctors felt it best since his body was rejecting it.  After the surgery, his arteries and veins began to bleed and the doctors had to go in several different times to repair them and stop the bleeding.  His condition was up and down literally from day to day.  At first, I believed he would get well and be home in a few days and would certainly be able to walk me down the aisle as we'd planned.  After a few days went by and his condition never stabilized, my prayers changed to, "Lord, please heal him and allow him to come home and attend the wedding, if even in a wheelchair."  As the days inched closer to our wedding, and Norm's condition continued to deteriorate, my prayers turned to desperation..."Lord, please let Norm live and make it through this!"

It was not to be.  We lost Norm the evening before our wedding, May 27, 2006.  God's answer was "no."  There was no bargaining, no exceptions...just an emphatic, "no."  Guilt, that my kidney failed Norm, set in.  The enemy was quick to pounce on an already wounded heart.  Devastation doesn't even begin to describe the way I felt.  I wondered if I was being punished for my past sins; I wondered if I was not supposed to get married the next day; I wondered "why?" for a very long time.  Years, in fact.

Two weeks ago in Bible Study, the Lord gently spoke to me using Beth Moore as a mouthpiece.  She said, "When God says no, it's because in that "no" is your greater purpose in life.  Something that God says "no" to will change your life forever and THAT is part of the greater purpose of your life."  That sounds so simplistic, but to me, it was beautiful music to my ears.  Having had the opportunities to share my testimony with others in the past year, I realize that the "no" God handed me the day before my wedding has caused me to search for Him more intently...desire Him more....and know Him more deeply. 

I can't explain why that simple statement gave me such peace about the years of wondering "why?" but it did.  It's effect was immediate and it penetrated deeply to my Spirit.  It was a Word, I believe, from God to me.  I thank God and Beth Moore for delivering it because it has given me freedom in some unbelievable ways! 

So, remember. . .when God says "no," --  after the suffering of the "no," go to God in search of your greater purpose from that "no."  Don't let the enemy shut you down like he did me.  Get up after the grieving and ask God what His purpose is through that "no". . .He will be delighted to tell you.

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.   Revelation 12:11