I just need to write here today. Although its difficult for me to admit that I'm having a hard time because it seems my "job" is to always be up and cheerful and healthy. Well, the past few days I've not felt so well, seasonal stuff, but it really gets me down to not feel well. But there is such a two-edged sword here that I'm dealing with: 1) I feel my role is to be Gary's healthy wife, so 2) what do I do if I'm having a bad health day? Can you believe I'm having such a hard time with that? I believe what I'm dealing with here is a root of perfection. Not a stranger to me at all. I thought that root had been pulled up, but that was another "P" word=Performance! :)
I despise how the enemy can torment me when I don't feel well. Literally DESPISE it! Because I haven't felt well, the enemy comes in like a flood and with one big swoop, tries to convince me that I'm no good AT ALL! Does he ever do that to you? So, by the end of the day, I don't feel well physically, and I don't feel well emotionally either. In fact, the spirit of depression has settled in to make a home right on top of me! Depression is a coy thing to me. I realize hormones, physical activity, food we eat, etc...all play a part in the effects of depression, but I also believe it has a spiritual root as well. Especially if one leaves a door open for it to come on in.
I'd like today to be a better day than yesterday. However, I feel weak physically and emotionally--meaning, I can't do it on my own. I must surrender this to the Lord and allow His Holy Spirit to take over me in every aspect. I pray He takes every thought captive and align them with His will. I pray for a grateful attitude despite how I "feel"....the reality is: I am a child of the most High King, the God of the Universe, a Royal Priest....with God for me, who can be against me? Not satan...he's nothing to God and me. But here's the deal, I have to allow myself the freedom to have a "bad" day and not feel the pressure to have "perfect" days...That's just too much to live up to. God is perfect...I'm not!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
"Busy" . . . a new four-letter word
"Hey Dawn, how ya been?" Oh fine, just busy!.....How many times have you heard that answer? I have lost count...literally, lost count. For the past couple of years, it seems that is the trite answer from everyone! I'd ask someone the question, "how ya doin?", and literally expect them to say...."oh, just busy," and they did!
It seems to me, in the spirit world, the enemy has ever-so-gently laid a veil over us, Americans for sure, but possibly the entire world...a veil of busyness. Even I, a homemaker with no time-clock to punch everyday, have felt this same "busyness" that people who work 70 hours a week feel...doesn't that seem a little suspicious to anyone? EVERYONE IS SO BUSY!
What really amazes me, is that when I think about my parents' generation and my grandparents' generation...I don't remember ever hearing that answer to the question, "How are you?" I really can't remember that at all. What I do remember is that, during the summer, my aunts and their lady friends on the block would sit around the kitchen table for hours during the day, drinking iced tea and smoking cigarettes while they told us kids to go outside and play....goodness! I don't see any of that happening today, ever!
It's also remarkable to me that today, we have more conveniences than ever before in the history of time. Literally, at our fingertips, we can shop online, order pictures, pay bills, just about anything a person might need, is at the tips of their fingertips 24/7, 365 days a year! So, why then today, do we have so much less time to visit with people, accomplish everyday errands, spend quiet time with God and even just be a family? Isn't that mind-boggling? What is going on here, people?
My theory, as I mentioned earlier, is that the veil of deception and busyness is covering our eyes and ears to the truth. So, we continue on with our day-to-day activities in a robotic fashion to the point of utter desensitization. We THINK this normal, because everyone beside us is doing the same thing! If we're not "BUSY"...then what are we doing? Just lying around on the couch eating bon-bons everyday? Huh? We've all got to be BUSY or we might seem like we're loafing!
Well, today, at lunch, my friend Tammy and I discussed this very issue and we've decided we may have a part in this....I believe that words have the power of life and death...Proverbs 18:21 says The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. NLT~~I believe that every time I've said, "Oh, I'm just busy, so busy," I have opened the door for the enemy to usher in his little "Busy Demon" to torment me, push me faster, and devour the sweet time God has given me. So, today~I commit the word B-U-S-Y into the dictionary of four-letter words; and we all know what's in there: BAD WORDS WE DON'T WANT TO SAY! :) I pray God will convict my heart to think before I speak the four-letter word.... " _usy" so as NOT to give the enemy an open-door policy with my time, energy or attitude...
From now on, I am not "_usy". . .I am BLESSED!
It seems to me, in the spirit world, the enemy has ever-so-gently laid a veil over us, Americans for sure, but possibly the entire world...a veil of busyness. Even I, a homemaker with no time-clock to punch everyday, have felt this same "busyness" that people who work 70 hours a week feel...doesn't that seem a little suspicious to anyone? EVERYONE IS SO BUSY!
What really amazes me, is that when I think about my parents' generation and my grandparents' generation...I don't remember ever hearing that answer to the question, "How are you?" I really can't remember that at all. What I do remember is that, during the summer, my aunts and their lady friends on the block would sit around the kitchen table for hours during the day, drinking iced tea and smoking cigarettes while they told us kids to go outside and play....goodness! I don't see any of that happening today, ever!
It's also remarkable to me that today, we have more conveniences than ever before in the history of time. Literally, at our fingertips, we can shop online, order pictures, pay bills, just about anything a person might need, is at the tips of their fingertips 24/7, 365 days a year! So, why then today, do we have so much less time to visit with people, accomplish everyday errands, spend quiet time with God and even just be a family? Isn't that mind-boggling? What is going on here, people?
My theory, as I mentioned earlier, is that the veil of deception and busyness is covering our eyes and ears to the truth. So, we continue on with our day-to-day activities in a robotic fashion to the point of utter desensitization. We THINK this normal, because everyone beside us is doing the same thing! If we're not "BUSY"...then what are we doing? Just lying around on the couch eating bon-bons everyday? Huh? We've all got to be BUSY or we might seem like we're loafing!
Well, today, at lunch, my friend Tammy and I discussed this very issue and we've decided we may have a part in this....I believe that words have the power of life and death...Proverbs 18:21 says The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. NLT~~I believe that every time I've said, "Oh, I'm just busy, so busy," I have opened the door for the enemy to usher in his little "Busy Demon" to torment me, push me faster, and devour the sweet time God has given me. So, today~I commit the word B-U-S-Y into the dictionary of four-letter words; and we all know what's in there: BAD WORDS WE DON'T WANT TO SAY! :) I pray God will convict my heart to think before I speak the four-letter word.... " _usy" so as NOT to give the enemy an open-door policy with my time, energy or attitude...
From now on, I am not "_usy". . .I am BLESSED!
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