Somewhere In Between . . .

I'm a step mom to two adult children...most of you know that. The past two weekends have been significant for me as a step-mom. First, was "Mother's Day" which always brings with it such strange emotions for me. Not only as a step mom, but as a daughter who's lost her mom, too. Because my two step children lost their mom to breast cancer as well, I always wonder if we're feeling some of the same things on that day. But wait! I'm now a step-mom on Mother's Day, so that puts me somewhere in between....(hence, the title of this post.) :) This year, I was so blessed to receive a sweet gift from Bree and Daniel (my son-in-law.) I was so touched by their thoughtfulness and the selection of the gift...it was SO me!

The other significant occasion was this past weekend; Britton graduated from Texas A&M! A huge feat for him and he did very well. We celebrated his great accomplishment with food, fun and fellowship and had a great time this past weekend. When I looked at the picture taken, I thought, "You don't seem like a step-mom...you seem more like a "buddy."

On the plane ride back home this past weekend, it occurred to me that I am not completely comfortable with the title "step mom" because I feel somewhere in between. I became a step mom when I married Gary four years ago and Bree was 21 and Britton was 18. The problem I had was NO EXPERIENCE being a mom of any kind, except of course, to Shorty Danielle, my precious miniature dachshund. But that really doesn't help with adult children. :)

During the past four years, I've tried too hard, not tried hard enough and made many mistakes along the way at this "step mom" thing. Thankfully, two years in, I read Ron Deal's book, The Smart Step-Family and was most enlightened which gave me hope that I hadn't totally messed everything up for our future! :)

But here's something else I've discovered this past weekend that gives me hope, understanding and some grace.....I AM somewhere in between....I have not ever been a "mother" to a person and therefore, don't really know what that is like. I've not had the greatest example for a mother since mine left when I was seven. So, feeling somewhere in between "step mom and friend" is perfectly okay. Sometimes I act silly, as if I'm 25 again when Bree and I are shopping and I think, "You should act more like a parental figure." Ha! That's just not me. I realize that "step-mom" does hold some authority to it, but in reality, Bree and Britton are adults and able to make their own decisions. If they want advice, they'll ask for it...otherwise, I think I'll remain "somewhere in between" because it seems to be where I fit best.

I highly recommend Ron Deal's books, The Smart Step-Family and The Smart Step-Mom...both are incredible resources for a blended family. You can get them at successfulstepfamilies.com or .org....

I am blessed to have the family I have...not only the one I was born with, but also the one God gave me later in life.

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 :)