A Birthday and a Funeral

Yesterday, I got the privilege of celebrating one more year of life on Earth!  Yes, it was my 46th birthday and I enjoyed every minute of it!  If I've never mentioned it before, now would be a good time...I LOVE my birthday!  Beginning on April 1st, I start celebrating "Birthday Month"...it works out great since my birthday is at the latter end.  I've just about got Gary trained to begin celebrating (with gifts or cards) on April 1st as well.  Birthdays aren't quite as special to him as they are to me....but he's learning.

So, with all the early celebrating going on...by the time my actual birthday arrives, I am beyond excited!  I remember when I was very young, maybe 6 or so, and the neighborhood kids came over for my birthday and I had a Barbie Doll birthday cake!  You know, the one where her very full dress skirt is the cake and the Barbie stands in the middle?  yep! That's the one!  I loved that cake and I continue to LOVE birthday cake now!  So, yesterday I enjoyed a fabulous lunch with a great friend, who gave me chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate and cinnamon covered apples! Fabulous!  Then, I bought me a birthday blouse, (gift to self). . .then I went and had my toe nails painted bright red, my solar nails filled AND a few doors down from the nail shop was this fabulous Cupcakery!  Yes!!! How on earth did this Cupcakery go into business without my knowing?  It was pure elation when I walked in and smelled the warm, sweet little cakes with all that icing on top!  I had to have one....the red velvet, please!  And then, at the register, I see these icing covered cookies!  Oh! I must have one of those, too....but here's the most unbelievable part...I ate both of them from 34th and Coulter to Soncy!!!  Oh my goodness, they were beyond delicious!  I had to ask God to forgive me for my gluttony....I arrived at the hair salon and had my hair washed and styled...nice treat when you have ridiculously thick hair like mine.

Then I ran home, changed clothes and made my way to the Civic Center for the Happy State Bank Annual Stockholder's meeting...yes, 850 of my closest friends were there to greet me...but not for my birthday, although, I felt like it was a really big party because inside me, there was a party going on!  I don't mind turning a year older, at all.  I celebrate another year, whatever the number may be, knowing that if I'm still celebrating, I still have a mission.  Otherwise, my celebrating would be in Heaven and not here on Earth.

Which leads me to the "funeral" part of my post.  Today, I attended a funeral of a dear person, Bud Townsend.  What a guy!  I met him in my former life and met up with him again in my new life.  He treated me the same each time.  He truly loved Jesus and it showed...always.  He smiled so big you might have thought his cheeks would crack!  He was a jolly, joyful guy all the time.  He and his best friend, Steve Covington, came to see me the day I had the kidney surgery while in Lubbock.  I believe they were in Lubbock for work, but Bud wanted to stop by and say hello.  I'll never forget his kindness.

Anytime I attend a funeral, I review my own life and wonder what might be said when I pass and people gather to pay their last respects.  I also ponder how I want my service conducted, what music to be sung, what Scriptures to be read and what pictures on the power point for all to see.  One thing I know for sure is this, I hope I am remembered as a woman after God's own heart.  I hope people know how much I love Jesus and want others, who don't know Him, to find out how much He loves them.  I don't always go about that in the best way, but I certainly pray God will give me opportunities to share His Good News with those who haven't heard.  I am a walking billboard of God's grace, mercy and forgiveness and I don't take that lightly.  There are "Divine Appointments" every day...waiting to hear the Good News, from me and from others.  I pray my funeral is a celebration of my attempts to do just that.  Live each day as if it's your last....we never know the hour God will take us home.  My dear friend, Bud, is dancing with the Angels, while in the presence of Jesus Christ!  What a glorious day it will be when we meet our Maker and Savior!!  Hallelujah!!

P.S. I'm still celebrating my birthday month...I had another great dinner with a dear friend and Tiramisu for dessert...Lord, forgive me!

REDEEMER of My Time

I don't know about you, but I can probably guess....you too, feel there just aren't enough minutes in a day to get everything accomplished you'd like.  I have many days like that.  I have a "to do" list that keeps morphing into a novel!  What I don't accomplish on Monday, I move to my Tuesday list and so on and so on.  You get my drift? 

Jesus Christ has redeemed me from so much:  loneliness, abandonment, fear, insecurities, shame, guilt, condemnation, being lost, my past as a whole, and the list goes on and on. :)  One day, while praying, it dawned on me that if Jesus has redeemed me from all of those things listed, and more, why couldn't He redeem my time?  That seemed logical to me.  So I asked Him that day, "Lord, I need You to redeem my time today, every single minute of this day, Lord.  I want to accomplish what You have set before me to do in an effort to be in Your will.  Please protect every minute of this day from the enemy who desires to steal, kill and destroy my time so I won't accomplish Your will today.  Please be the Redeemer of my time.  In Jesus' Name, Amen."  

Done.  Just like that, with a simple prayer, the Lord has become the Redeemer of my time.  My day still has only 24 hours in it, just as before, but now, the enemy has no authority to steal minutes from my day.  Now, I feel like I have time left over at the end of the day!  Is that amazing?  Because I prayed a prayer that lines up with God's will, He will honor it.  If I happen to have a morning where I'm running late and don't say this prayer....Oh! will I ever pay!  I know immediately what has taken place.  So, I stop where I am, and say this little prayer.  From it, I get big results!

What has Jesus redeemed you from?  Is your list long like mine?  Well, add one more item to your list: TIME.  Let me know how this prayer works for you.  I pray your time will be redeemed for Him. :)

When God says, "No."

I thoroughly enjoy Beth Moore's Bible Studies...all of them.  I continue to be amazed at how this woman of God can take Scripture and stories we've heard for many years about characters in the Bible and make them literally come to life before my eyes!  She is truly anointed as a teacher and I am thankful for the blessing of studying the Word with her.

A couple of weeks ago, Beth was winding down her hour long video after talking about the different "levels" of relationship Jesus had with others and how we are to model our relationships after Him.  Imagine five circles, each getting smaller and smaller.  The smallest circle in the middle depicted the relationship of Jesus to God.  His innermost relationship of all relationships.  Jesus had his 12 disciples that he took with him, but sometimes, he took just his three closest disciples, Peter, James and John.  But even still, there were times when he asked them to pray for Him and He went further still, with God and God alone.  There are times when even our closest friend or spouse is not what we need-we need to go closer inward with God...all by ourselves.

Have you ever had God say "no" to something you prayed for fervently?  Have you ever begged God to heal someone and He said, "no?"  I imagine we all have.  For the past five years, I have wondered "why?" to the death of Norm, the night before my wedding.  Norm, in case you didn't know, became like a father figure to me after the Lord put us together so I could give Norm a kidney.  He needed a kidney and I needed a father figure.  It was an amazing miracle of sorts and he was an amazing man.  Sadly, he started to reject the kidney about two weeks before our wedding.  His kidney had already stopped working for him a few months before and he was back on dialysis, which was a heartbreak all in itself.  But to remove a kidney was routine and the doctors felt it best since his body was rejecting it.  After the surgery, his arteries and veins began to bleed and the doctors had to go in several different times to repair them and stop the bleeding.  His condition was up and down literally from day to day.  At first, I believed he would get well and be home in a few days and would certainly be able to walk me down the aisle as we'd planned.  After a few days went by and his condition never stabilized, my prayers changed to, "Lord, please heal him and allow him to come home and attend the wedding, if even in a wheelchair."  As the days inched closer to our wedding, and Norm's condition continued to deteriorate, my prayers turned to desperation..."Lord, please let Norm live and make it through this!"

It was not to be.  We lost Norm the evening before our wedding, May 27, 2006.  God's answer was "no."  There was no bargaining, no exceptions...just an emphatic, "no."  Guilt, that my kidney failed Norm, set in.  The enemy was quick to pounce on an already wounded heart.  Devastation doesn't even begin to describe the way I felt.  I wondered if I was being punished for my past sins; I wondered if I was not supposed to get married the next day; I wondered "why?" for a very long time.  Years, in fact.

Two weeks ago in Bible Study, the Lord gently spoke to me using Beth Moore as a mouthpiece.  She said, "When God says no, it's because in that "no" is your greater purpose in life.  Something that God says "no" to will change your life forever and THAT is part of the greater purpose of your life."  That sounds so simplistic, but to me, it was beautiful music to my ears.  Having had the opportunities to share my testimony with others in the past year, I realize that the "no" God handed me the day before my wedding has caused me to search for Him more intently...desire Him more....and know Him more deeply. 

I can't explain why that simple statement gave me such peace about the years of wondering "why?" but it did.  It's effect was immediate and it penetrated deeply to my Spirit.  It was a Word, I believe, from God to me.  I thank God and Beth Moore for delivering it because it has given me freedom in some unbelievable ways! 

So, remember. . .when God says "no," --  after the suffering of the "no," go to God in search of your greater purpose from that "no."  Don't let the enemy shut you down like he did me.  Get up after the grieving and ask God what His purpose is through that "no". . .He will be delighted to tell you.

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.   Revelation 12:11

RADICAL by David Platt

     Have you ever read a book that really messed with you?  I'm in the middle of one right now, Radical by David Platt..."Taking Back My Faith from the American Dream"....

     Sometimes the word "radical" has such a negative connotation that we don't want to use it, especially associated with religion, but if we read the Bible and accept it as absolute Truth...we realize, IT IS RADICAL!   For instance, in Mark 10:17-31, when a rich, young man asks Jesus what he must do to have eternal life...Jesus tells him about the commandments to keep-do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your mother and father. . . and the young man says he has done all these things since he was a boy, (so far, it's looking pretty good for this guy to go to Heaven), however, Jesus then says, "One thing you lack, go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in Heaven, then come follow Me."  Uh oh, that's where the young man turned away sad....this young man had acquired great wealth and apparently, the thought of giving up all that to follow Jesus and have eternal life was just too much for him to bear.  Ouch.  Big O' American Ouch!

      If you think about it, the American Dream does not line up with the Gospel.  Many times, Jesus tells people to leave their home, their family, their possessions and take up their cross and follow Him.  When I think of people that do that, they fall in the "missionary" category, but not in the everyday people category, which is where I land.

     Two years prior to going on a mission trip to Nicaragua in June, 2008, I had been "jokingly" telling Gary that "we should sell everything and move to Costa Rica and become missionaries."  I said this in an effort to run from the "rat race" we seemed to be in over here.  After our mission trip, I knew deeply in my heart that we, here in America, were somehow, "missing the mark" of what God wanted for His children.  I didn't believe God wanted His children to be stressed day in and day out, to not sleep at night, to constantly wonder if what we were doing was what we were supposed to be doing...but it's difficult to NOT get caught up in the American Rat Race...its a phenomenon, to say the least. 

   What I saw over there changed my heart.  I knew I wanted to stay involved with Savior's Tear Ministry in some capacity from then on.  When I'd been back in America for some time, slowly, but surely, the severity of what I saw diminished in my memory.  It became clouded and veiled by all that goes on over here in America...such as, total immersion in "wanting more" by seeing or hearing thousands of commercials a week, whether on radio, TV, billboards, you name it.  Or by trying to keep up with the Joneses.  I am guilty of it all, and most definitely, ashamed of myself.

One scene that has never left my memory from the horrific dump grounds of Managua, Nicaragua was a young little boy, dirty from head to toe, but smiling from ear to ear.  I thought to myself, "Lord, what on Earth does this little boy have to be smiling about while running around in this horrible dump ground?"  Do you know what the Lord replied?  He said, "Dawn, this little boy has everything he needs for today.  He doesn't know to want more because he hasn't seen "more."  His needs are being met today and he is perfectly content and full of joy."  Another big Ouch!

Reading the book Radical has taken me back to that place in my heart that I felt while in Nicaragua.  I loved that place, although heart-breaking at times, it was motivating to me.  I want to be motivated any way I can be to help the poor.  We, over here in America, are filthy rich compared to the rest of the world.  Why is it so unbalanced, God?. . . God says to me rhetorically, "I don't know, Dawn, why is it?"

I want to be a Radical, Jesus Freak, who makes a difference in this world.  I can't sit idly by hoping someone else will do something.  I have been blessed beyond belief. Why?  To give generously to the poor and bring glory to God's name.  Pretty simple calling, huh?  Want to join me?  Read the book Radical and join us for a discussion at Leal's Restaurant on Thursday, March 10th at 12:00 noon.  Everyone is welcome . . .I hope to see you there!

God. . .Alone

I just finished Session 3 of Beth Moore's study on David.  Bam!!! Did God speak right to my heart using Beth's mouth!  Before Bible Study tonight, as I was getting ready...an issue rose up in my mind and I began playing it out....you know, when you have a conversation with a person you need to address and you have the conversation out loud?  Yea, one of those.  lol....  During my "one-person" conversation, everything I was saying was right on...I was pleading my case and winning! lol!  So, by the time I left for Bible Study, it was resolved.  I was right and they would have to live with that....

Then Beth starts her spill about this VERY issue...asking us, the audience if anyone has ever done that?  You know, you get this obsessive thought and you analyze it every which way and you win when it's all said and done...?  Yep, God was calling me out right there as I sat on the couch at Bible study.

Here's the bottom line and what I learned tonight:  GOD ALONE will defend me.  GOD ALONE will defend my honor.  I don't have to fight for it, He will do it for me.

Have you ever felt you had to defend your position because you knew deep down you were right?  Did you take matters into your own hands trying to defend that position?  I know I've done this countless times.  Next time, I'm going to allow God to be my Defender.

  My victory and my honor come from God alone.  

He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.  

Psalm 62:7

Knowledge is power. . .

     Knowledge IS power!  I am so happy to say that as I take a more proactive role in my health, I feel much more EMPOWERED!  I love that!  In an earlier post, I noted that I wanted to get my body fat down to 25% by March.  So far, I've lost 5 pounds and about 1.5% body fat.  Well, what I didn't mention in that earlier post is that for the past 5 years, I've been a natural laxative addict! :)  (You might want to stop reading this if you're uncomfortable with body-speak.) lol!

     Okay, so without too many details, one of the aspects of my health I knew I needed to address in this new year is this addiction to natural Senna...which is a laxative.  All of this addiction started after my surgery in 2004...my colon just went to sleep and couldn't "wake-up", so a doctor prescribed a medication to get my colon to wake up and get moving...however, I didn't want to become dependent on the prescription med, so I began taking a "natural laxative, i.e. Senna" via tea.  It worked!  However, the longer I took it, the more I needed....then I added Senna tablets at night along with the tea, then more tablets and more, until I was up to FIVE a night, PLUS the tea!  Oh my goodness, an addiction had been born!  So, on the suggestions of two dear friends, Tammy and Kathy, I decided to visit
ICAM (Integrated Complementary Alternative Medicine) www.icamamarillo.com
468-4616

      For many years, I believe that I have been putting toxins into my body through, chemicals, tobacco, alcohol, processed foods, sugar (lots), my beloved diet cokes, fake sugar, medications, etc. etc....  Many years ago, when my mom was being treated for breast cancer with chemo, I saw how sick she was during her treatments and thought to myself, "how could something so toxic be good for her?"  It didn't make sense.  I know chemotherapy has come a LONG way since the mid '80's and I'm so thankful for that, but it is still a toxin.

     So, back to the reason I went to ICAM and the reason for the title of this post:  Knowing that my odds go up to contract breast cancer because my mom had it and it was found when she about 48 years old, I decided I wanted to take a MUCH MORE proactive role in my health and well-being NOW, and thwart the possibility of that dreaded disease from manifesting in my body.  The first action was to find out what my levels of Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone are.  With depression and profound PMS symptoms, I figured that would be a great place to start.  I learned (gathering more knowledge), that the actual levels of those hormones cannot accurately be determined just through a blood test.  A saliva test was needed to give the most accurate level of those particular hormones.  Excessive Estrogen has been linked to breast cancer....hmm?  I need to know NOW if my Estrogen level is too high.  That would be very pertinent information for a daughter who's mother died of breast cancer at the age of 51, wouldn't it?  However, conventional medical professionals have never explained to me that information OR that a saliva test is needed to accurately test the level of that hormone.   Maybe they disagree with that information. Who knows?

    Next, I gave 10 vials of blood away Monday to be tested for just about everything under the sun, literally.  I go back to ICAM on January 24th to find out all the results of these tests and I am very excited to hear, BECAUSE, with all that information, I will learn what condition my body is in-- in just about every area.  I will learn what vitamins, minerals, and foods, (that God created), I need to maintain a healthy body that is capable of fighting off disease.

     So why would I be sharing all this information on a blog post?  Because I know women read this post.  When I posted about depression, I got many response emails and I suspect many woman have had similar problems/symptoms as I have.  I share this information with you to encourage YOU to take a proactive role in your health as well.  God created the Earth and I am beginning to understand that the fruits, vegetables and plants He created were for us to be nourished and healthy and disease-free!  He's a perfect God, Who created a perfect Earth....it is Man who messed it up. The less man processes His stuff, the better it is for us...  He is a wonderful Creator, isn't He?

     As for the problem I mentioned earlier in my post, things are moving along much better. :)

And what union can there be between God's temple and idols?  

For WE ARE the temple of the living God.  As God said:  "I will live in them

and walk among them.  I will be their God and they will be My people."  

2 Corinthians 6:16 NLT

A New Year. . .

So, 2011 came in quietly and without event.  Gary had contracted the dreaded "junk" that was being passed around his office and felt crummy, although he stayed awake with me to watch the ball drop in NYC!  (Even though it was only 11:00, I appreciated his effort tremendously.)

My last post reads sad at first, then gradually gets better.  It's always so astounding to me as I go back and read a post from weeks before.  I'm amazed at where I can be on one day, and where I might be three weeks later.  I better not ponder that thought too long...my analytical mind will have me diagnosed with ALL kinds of things! lol!

I've never been one to make many New Year's resolutions...probably because I was never good at keeping them and I didn't like the feeling of "defeat" I got from not being able to keep them.  So, as 2011 rolls in, I'm just going to proclaim a few things, in the Name of Jesus:

1)  I proclaim to learn and know who I am in Christ, without any doubts-EVER! (I am seriously getting so tired of this back and forth battle with the enemy.  I'm going to let him have it this year!)
2)  I proclaim to stop worrying so much about others and letting people be responsible for themselves.  (I mean this in a good way :)
3) I proclaim to be authentic, honest, and loving to myself and others...whatever the cost.  (I apologize in advance if my honesty is ever too brutal.  I intend to do honesty in love.)
4)  I proclaim to take a proactive role in my health and well-being- physically, mentally and spiritually. And I intend to learn much more about natural medicine and homeopathic healing. ( I also intend to get my body fat to 25% by March 15, 2011.)

I've only mentioned a few of my "proclamations", but these are the first ones that come to mind.  I believe with all my heart that 2011 will be a year of revelation, freedom and sincerity.  I look forward to God's revelations, His purposes for Gary and me and for His love in everything.

God has blessed me beyond belief and I owe all the praise and honor and glory to Him.  He IS the God of the Universe! 

Oh and Get ready!  He's coming back!

Happy New Year Blessings to You!